Thankful

Have you ever had one of those experiences or dreams where in the moment you didn't see the depth of potential for danger until you had time to mentally chew on it for a bit??? Well, our little escapade with Macy B. on Sunday was just that kind of event for me.

After church, the two littles were down for naps and I was lying on the couch enjoying simply not standing. A familiar knock was at our door and Jason answered. It was our neighbor, E, saying something about being concerned about Macy and that she was probably supposed to be napping. I kind of rolled my eyes, sighed heavily, and watched (yes, I'm still on the couch) as Jason went out front to see what the neighbors are seeing. I imagined she was waving to everyone and being a ham, standing on her bed. Anything to draw attention and smiles to herself...that's my Macy B! After Jason went upstairs to deal with our daughter, he came down and gave me the whole picture. Macy, who was supposed to be napping, got under her big wooden blinds on her window (mind you, the blinds, themselves, are a "no-touch" for Macy), opened her second-story window, stood up on her window sill, and was leaning against a little, flimsy piece of mesh we call a screen. Beneath her, as her soft place to fall, is our sloping red-tile roof and then the concrete driveway - neither of which we've covered with mattresses or soft clouds or a bounce house just yet. When Jason asked her why she did what she did, she responded that she just wanted to say to hi to the people. Yes, Macy is our social butterfly. We thought each of her sisters before her was....but they were just Macy's John-the-Baptists, paving the way for her - the true social one. As we continued to shake our heads and make little if-we-can-keep-her-alive-until-she's-18-we've-done-well jokes, I thought of another similar situation that didn't end so well. Remember Eric Clapton's son? I think he was 3 or 4 and was leaning against a screened window that didn't hold him, and he fell. "Tears in Heaven" was his dad's song after losing that little boy. Macy's no little thing, and the more she wished she could be down on the ground talking to our neighbors, the more she pushed herself into that screen that she trusted. She's not in general a physical dare devil. She's cautious and gets scared over physical challenges. Anyhow....all this to say, I am continually and prayerfully THANKFUL that Sunday wasn't Macy's day. I know the Lord knows the number of my Macy B's days, and I am thankful it wasn't May 30, 2010. THANKFUL that her screen stayed where it was supposed to be.

Macy doesn't act out of anger or maliciousness or defiance; her answers are very childlike (duh!) in that it's something so seemingly innocent and usually involves the word "just".

I was just trying to change Liam's dirty diaper.

I was just trying to clean the house with the baby wipes.

I was just trying to bring Liam to you.

I was just cleaning the mirror for you.

I was just trying to see the garbage truck....that's why I was down the street all by myself at 6:00am. (that one is totally made up; but not impossible!)

I just wanted to see how far a metal file could go into an outlet. (also made up; also not impossible)

It's why my sweet 3 year old still has a baby-proofed bedroom door from the interior; her ability and desire to be a big kid outweighs her maturity and judgement.

My biggest lesson out of this: I'm reminded that I can only do so much to protect any of my children; ultimately, they are His and He holds them, no matter how much control I want or demand. She's His, too.